"How did you live all those years without him?"

I might get judged for this post…if so, so be it, I don’t really care.

Ever since Caleb came along I’ve been asked more times than I can count “Don't you wonder how you lived all those years without him?” (or something along those lines).

I’ve never understood this question. 

Maybe it’s because Sarah and I were married 7, almost 8, years before Caleb even came along.  I don’t know why but when people ask me that I think to myself “Is there something wrong with me?  Should I have totally forgotten what my life was like before Caleb? Should he be the end all/be all of my life now? Am I a bad parent?”.  Then I quickly follow that up thinking “Nah….that’s just a typical question people ask” and smile and nod or give the expected answer and walk away. 

I can absolutely remember life before Caleb.  It was great! It’s great with Caleb here now, but it was also great then.  Sarah and I had more freedom and flexibility, more spare time, and more money. 

It was nice.

Am I a bad person for admitting this? 

No, commedians bring it up in their jokes all the time.  Its common knowledge. 

Do I miss that time?

Sure.

Would I ever go back and undo our decision to have Caleb?

Never. 

Caleb is awesome and is a huge blessing and I would never trade him for the world.  He’s a lot of fun and worth every minute of my time and every dime we spend on him.  Maybe that’s the intent of the question, but if so it should be rephrased.  Maybe something like “Hasn’t he just changed your life in such amazing ways?” or “Isn’t he so worth everything you’ve given up?”.  The answer to those would be an immediate and enthusiastic “Yes!”. 

But can I remember life without him…absolutely.  

9 years ago...

Yesterday...

Last night my heart broke...and the pieces swelled with pride

Caleb has been doing a lot of new things lately.  It’s been quite exciting for us.  Last night, however, was a new first that was not as exciting for me.

Last night for some unknown reason Caleb woke up screaming his head off at 1 AM.  It wasn’t an “I’m tired” or “I’m hungry” scream, it was just an all-out “Something has scared me or upset me” scream.  I got up and went in to try and calm him down and get him back to sleep.  Nothing I did had any effect at all, not rocking, singing, holding him and whispering in his ear, nothing!  Finally, Sarah realized that I was not having any success and came in and took him from me and within seconds he calmed and quieted in her arms.  It broke my heart.  It was the first time that I was not able to comfort him and he truly just wanted his mommy. 

It was an odd feeling, though, because while my heart was broken that I couldn’t console my baby, it swelled with pride that this wonderful woman that I love has bloomed into this amazing mother.  This girl that for the longest time did not want children has become a mommy that is capable of completely enthralling Caleb’s heart and in the process my own.

Last night I had to come to grips with the fact that no matter how great of a dad I am, my role as a dad is significantly different than Sarah’s role as a mother.  Despite the cultural trend to abolish gender roles, they are undeniable.  Sarah will always be who Caleb will run to when he falls and scrapes his knee (until he no longer runs to anyone).  I will always be the one he looks to as the instigator of the activities that cause him to scrape his knee (Just kidding, but of course some truth there as well).  My role as a dad will be the leader, the rock, the example.  I’ll admit, I’m not one of those 100% manly men.  I have this nurturing side that craves to be the comforter.  And I can still be to an extent...probably more for Sarah than for Caleb, as it should be.  But my role as man of the house, spiritual leader of the house became more clear to me last night at 1 AM when my heart broke...and the pieces swelled with pride.

New (to us) Car

Well as you may have seen on Sarah's blog we had an accident and the Mazda we had is no more...
Last week I/we spent lots of time looking at cars and looking at reviews online, comparing millage and cost and reliability and factoring them all together to finally make a decision.  And we settled on....



A 2007 Honda Pilot.

The biggest thing (besides it being a Honda) that sold us on this car is that it has a fold up 3rd row seat.  We can actually fit 8 people in this thing! Not real comfortably...but for short trips it will be great!  We've already taken it on a road trip to Tennessee this past weekend and it did great.  We're super happy with it!

I did have to go against every grain in my being when we bought it from Carmax though.  As you might know Carmax doesn't negotiate on their price.  I did find, though, that their sticker price is lower then the starting price at dealers by a significant amount.  I looked around at other dealers and didn't find any Pilot that we could have gotten a better deal on.  We have a friend who works there and he was great, super nice and informative!  His name is Nathan Aylestock if anyone is interested in buying a car at Carmax! 

Here's hoping this Honda is with us for many years to come!

8 Years!

8 years ago today I stood in front of friends, family and my Creator and committed to love Sarah until my dying breath.  What an 8 years it has been!

We’ve made so many memories and had so many laughs.  We’ve traveled and we’ve been happy just relaxing at home. 

It has been my greatest joy, however, to see Sarah become a mother.  To see her grow from the 20 year old I married into a mature woman, seeking after God’s will in her life.  To see her love poured out on Caleb and the patience she has developed with him.  Yes, we’ve been married 8 years, yes “We’re old” as she says, but she is more beautiful to me than she was when we started dating in High School, more beautiful than she was when I asked her to marry me on the boardwalk in Ocean City, and more beautiful than when we were married those 8 years ago.  We have many more years to go and I’m sure she will continue to grow in beauty even as we age. 

Sarah,

I love you from the depths of my heart and can’t wait to see what the future brings. 

P.S. I used beautiful in the above blog post as a term that reflects Sarah’s outward and inward beauty but just for clarification…she’s also still smokin’ hot!

Dollar Shave Club

So I stumbled upon this company through a friends recommendation on twitter and now I feel the need to pass the word to anyone else who reads my blog. 

I’m not writing this as an ad or anything.  I just wanted to let guys (and girls) know that there is an option out there besides the big names in razors.

For years I have always used the latest and greatest name brand razor when I shave every morning.  I prefer Gillette (mostly due to them sending me a free razor when I turned 18 which kept me in that brand ever since).  Before I discovered Dollar Shave Club I used the Gillette Proglide Fusion Power (Sounds like a video game weapon doesn’t it?).  These blades, when purchased through Amazon’s subscribe and save option (giving me a discount and the cheapest price I could find) come out to $3.68 per blade.  These are great blades and I thought they were worth it to have a nice shave.

Now, anyone who knows me knows I’m a hairy guy and no matter how close I shave, I will have a rough face and a shadow by lunch time.  My facial hair is very coarse so a disposable BIC was never an option for me.  Obviously the Gillette blades really racked up in terms of cost for me so I knew there had to be a better way.

Enter Dollar Shave Club.  This company is great.  They remove the mark up and the marketing and will set up a monthly subscription where they mail you the blade refills.  There are 3 different blades ranging from 2 blades, 4 blades, or 6 blades in the razor.  I went with the middle and got the 4 razor blade model for $6 a month.  For that you get a razor and 4 blades (one a week) shipped to you.  Shipping is included in the $6.  $6 for 4 blades that’s $1.50 per blade.  That’s less than half of what I was paying before.  At first I wondered if they would last as long.  And I have waiting until I used them for 2 weeks before posting this.  I can say that they last about 2 days shorter than the Gillette blades do (on my face) and so it is still a much better deal for me. 

So anyway, check it out, give it a try if it will save you money and see what you think.  If you do decide to jump in and you want to be nice use the link below so that I can get a free month of razors!

https://www.dollarshaveclub.com/ref/1zek/njdrv8

Drinking...

Since Caleb came along a few months ago I’ve spent a lot of time reassessing my habits and practices to see what type of example I set for Caleb.  One of the subjects I’ve been dwelling on lately is alcohol.  More specifically, should or should I not continue to drink while Caleb grows up. 

To start with I thought about whether, as a Christian, I should be drinking in the first place.  I asked myself:

Is drinking a sin?

The Bible has a lot to say about drinking wine and there has been debate on whether the term for wine is fermented or not.  It can all get very confusing.  To save my readers (all 3 of you) from wading through an exegetical argument with verse after verse about drinking I’m going to make some generalities.  It seems to me that most instances in the Bible that condemn drinking or show drinking resulting in sin are really pointing at drunkenness.  Several times in the Bible there are instances where someone got so drunk they passed out in their tent and caused some type of atrocious sin.  I think this is where sin enters into the act of drinking. It is not the drinking itself that is sin but when it is done to the point of loss of discernment that sin rears its head.  But even then I don’t think the drinking itself is the sin but rather the actions that come from it.  I think that drinking becomes sin when the motive for that drinking is wrong.  So that lead to the question:

Why do I drink?

A lot of people drink alcohol to get drunk.  They go out Friday night and drink so much they say they can’t remember a thing. They drown their sorrows and “have a blast”.  I don’t know about any of that, I’ve never taken it that far.  I drink because I like the taste, the way wine compliments food, the sophistication of its flavor.  I like the taste of a good, well-made ale and the smooth coolness as it goes down. I don’t drink to find joy in a glass. I don’t drink to push down troubles in my life.  For that I have a Savior to confide mytroubles in and who gives me joy unmatched by anything man has concocted.  Would it be a sin for me to look to other things to find that joy? Absolutely. Whether that thing is alcohol or drugs or chocolate, if I’m looking for something else to make me whole it is idolatry (and I will never find the satisfaction I seek).  So if I’m not drinking to drown sorrows or find happiness, then how is drinking alcohol any different than enjoying a good cup of coffee?  Enjoying the creativeness of a Creator God combined with the resourcefulness of created man that produces the various foods and drinks we enjoy. 

So I decided that I was not sinning by drinking.  I also realize that this is not a view shared by all Christians and try to be considerate of that and not push my beliefs on others, nor drink around someone who wouldn’t be comfortable with it.  That being said, where does that leave me in how to raise Caleb?  Well this post is already crazy long for a blog and most people have probably stopped reading already so I’ll save that entry for another day…

Bouncing

Lately Caleb has been really interactive and full of smiles. Last night I was bouncing him on a pillow while in a sitting up position and he loved it!